Which St. Paul Restaurant Does Randy Moss Hate?

November 2, 2010 at 7:37 pm (Gastro-Nominal) (, , , , , , , , )

Kimbo Slice called. He wants his look back.

In the wake of yesterday’s report that the Minnesota Vikings had waived future demolition derby hall-of-famer Randy Moss, a Yahoo Sports post reports that an incident that occurred in the locker room last Friday may play a part.

The report states that one of the players, Matt Birk (who formerly owned his own eponymous eatery), had arranged for a team dinner to be catered by a St. Paul restaurant.  Of course, no one bothered to notice that Matt Birk has played with the Ravens for the past two seasons and therefore probably has very little input as to where or what the Vikings eat.  [And these guys get paid to write this?]

Here's what I think of your Vichyssoise!

Moss, the infallible arbiter of good taste that he is, proclaimed: the food was “slightly disappointing.  I had hoped for a little more coriander in the Mulligatawny.  I’ve also found that when I make my own balsamic vinegar reduction at home, there’s no need to add sugar.  This reduction was a tad too sweet for my tastes.  While I respect what the chef is trying to do here, I can’t help but feel that there may have been some missed opportunities.   By the way, substituting regular neufchatel for mascarpone?  That’s a rookie mistake- a real Tirami-don’t!”

No, that might be a misquote.  Oh, yes, he actually said:
 “What the [expletive]? Who ordered this crap? I wouldn’t feed this to my dog!”
Hmm, well, that does sound more like Randy Moss…
Of course, Randy knows the real deal- “Buncha haters at the cool kids’ table.  Better to eat in peace in the science lab.  I didn’t wanna sit with them anyway, clique-y asshats.   Besides, nothing makes a better grilled cheese than a bunsen burner.” 

The Next Food Network Star

But this brings us to the real question: 

Which St. Paul eatery gathered no Moss? 
Reports state the menu included chicken, ribs, pasta and other dishes.  Does Birk’s erroneous connection to this story reveal clues?  Does Matty B still have some NFL money invested in local restaurants?
What’s your guess?
UPDATE: The StarTribune is now reporting that it was Tinucci’s , which is actually located in Woodbury, not St. Paul.  There was a connection to Matt Birk in that the owners of Tinucci’s knew/know him.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: