EXCLUSIVE: Post-Victory Interview with Michele Bachmann

November 3, 2010 at 8:33 pm (PoliTic-Tacs) (, , , , , , , , , )

"They Like Me! They Really, Really Like Me!"

It was a hard fight.

It was a campaign marked by harsh words, shockingly negative ads, and a flurry of accusations and cross-accusations.  This one race- for the House seat for a tiny swath of central Minnesota- saw more campaign dollars spent than any other race in the country.

DFL candidate, Tarryl Clark, conceded defeat last Tuesday night and congratulated Rep. Bachmann on her victory.

Meanwhile, Bachmann was celebrating her victory at the Veranda Ballroom at the Sheraton Bloomington Hotel which is where I eventually* caught up with her.

Vitajex:  Representative Bachmann, first, please allow me to congratulate you on your victory tonight.

Michele Bachmann:  Thank you so much.  I’m- I’ll admit, I’m excited.  I mean, I knew that my constituents were confused and frightened, so I knew I stood a very good chance of re-election but-  You know, it’s not until you see that checkmark next to your name on the results tracker…

V: Absolutely.  I’d also like to say that that’s a beautiful jacket you’re wearing tonight.

MB: Thank you!  I got it- it’s a jacket my husband designed.  You know, for a man, he’s got an amazing eye for women’s fashion.

V:  Speaking of your husband, throughout this campaign, he’s stood up for you, again and again.

MB:  Oh, absolutely!  He’s a real peach, you know.  Every time someone said something critical or disparaging of me, he was always there to carefully craft an email to solicit donations for my campaign.

V:  A great man, no doubt.  Now, the election is over-

MB:  Mmm-hmm.

V:  -so now, I’d like to ask what would you like to say to your opponent, Ms. Clark?

MB:  That’s a really- I’m glad you asked me that question.  For the last few months, since the primaries, I’ve felt obliged to speak negatively- say some mean things.  I want Minnesotans to understand exactly how I feel.  This is America.  We’re all about- Our founding fathers created this country with the idea that it would be a government ‘of the people, by the people, for the people’.  They felt that everyone, everyone has a right to run for office.  And I agree with the founding fathers, always, whether they were right or wrong.  And so, I support everyone’s right to take part in the legislative process, even if they are the Anti-Christ.

If you look very closely, you can see the horns.

V:  So, wait.  Do you believe Tarryl Clark is the Anti-Christ?

MB:  Well, I don’t- I mean, it’s not nice to say some of these things, but they need to be said.  I mean, this is a woman who used to date Bill Ayers, wants to turn over control of all of our nuclear reactors to terrorists and who was a founding member of Nancy Pelosi’s Satan-worshipping sex cult.

V:  I hadn’t heard that…

MB:  Of course not!  Do you think the liberal media would report on such things?  They would never betray their overlords.

V: What, in your opinion, was the hardest part of this campaign, for you, personally?

MB:  I would have to say the most difficult thing was spending time in Minnesota- in the 6th district, no less!  I don’t know if you’ve ever been there, but…  [shakes head]  So, that was the hardest- having to be away from all of my friends and family at Fox News.  Sean Hannity called me yesterday and I- I just started crying because I hadn’t been able to give my ‘special little man’ a hug in weeks.

V:  So, if I may ask a more personal question- What plans do you have for celebrating this momentous occasion?

MB:  Well, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but- McDonald’s.  Did you hear the McRib is back?  McRib, mmm…

The Taste of Victory

*I had to make an extra drive to meet up with Rep. Bachmann.  For some unknown reason, I had mistakenly believed that she would be celebrating her victory as Representative for the MN 6th district actually in the MN 6th district.

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