Like Comics? Like Prostitution? This Video Game’s For You!

November 12, 2010 at 7:34 pm (Pixelated) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


Yes, this is a real game.  While it might be currently unavailable at the original site,, a game like this will surely be tossed around for a while.

Players take on the role of Professor Xavier, who has come to the sudden (and slightly implausible) conclusion that fighting is not the best way to reconcile humans and mutants.  Instead, he decides to turn the X Mansion into what is simultaneously the most frightening and the most enticing pleasure palace in all of Imaginationland.

Players use their mutant abilities to satisfy the carnal lusts of assorted sad and lonely fanboy proxies.  For example, by directing a client to Dazzler, you can be assured his preference for keeping the lights on will be met.  Does your client want  unprotected sex?  Send him to Domino, to decrease the chance of pregnancy or the transmission of STDs.

The review at describes the gameplay as such: “a lot like Root Beer Tapper, except that the only thing they’re interested in tapping is that ass.”

Of course, if we wanted to branch out and begin offering male escorts, I would recommend Reed Richards.

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