HEY, Don’t Eat That!: 5 of the Dumbest Things People Have Intentionally Eaten

November 19, 2010 at 5:15 pm (Gastro-Nominal) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

-from Photobucket user oromis_bmc

City Pages writer Rachel Hutton, (currently my 2nd favorite Hutton) posted a story about a man who is suing a restaurant for not telling him how to properly eat an artichoke. 

No, you didn’t read that wrong.  Seems this particular idiot proceeded to eat ALL of the artichoke, including the leaves.  When he started having pains, he went to the doctor.  The quote from the original article:

“An exploratory procedure revealed artichoke leaves lodged in his small bowel.”

Read: the doctor rooted around in his bum and found them.

So I figured that I would enshrine this man as the first ever inductee into the

Hey, Don’t Eat That! Hall of Fame. 

1.  Arturo Carvajal – Artichoke Leaves

But I didn’t want him to get lonely, so we’ll throw four more idiots in for now and will most assuredly add more in the future.

2.  Margaret Daalman – 78(!) Forks and Spoons 

Photo: Daily Mail

In the 1970’s, Margaret Daalman, a Dutch secretary, went to the doctor, complaining about pains in her stomach.  The doctors decided to X-ray and they found a mass of 78 forks and spoons jumbled together in her stomach.  One can’t help but think it would have been only half as difficult to simply swallow 39 sporks.

 3.  Jezebel Reader Becky – Pumpkin Seeds

"Yes, my children- ATTACK!" -from Photobucket user shannon2406

Last month, Jezebel.com ran a contest for readers to submit their grossest stories.  Oh, mama, did they get ’em!  But one in particular qualifies for our ignominous Hall of Fame: Becky. 

Becky tells a story of when she was in college, burning the candle at both ends and leading a life less than conducive to meal preparation (or even eating).  So, when she noticed the convenience store near her home had just gotten in a new shipment of pumpkin seeds- a particular favorite of hers- she splurged on buying up the rest of their supply.  Morning, noon and night, Becky ate pumpkin seeds… and very little else. Suffice it to say, the story ends shortly after this quote:

“After I composed myself, I washed the walls of the shower and gathered up the discarded seed parts which all together were the size of a whole cantaloupe.”

Photo from New England Journal of Medicine

4.  Anonymous 18-Year-Old Female Tricophage- Hair

In 2007, an unnamed 18-year-old reported stomach pains and swelling and weightloss of 40 lbs.  Doctors found a 14″ x 7″ x 7″ hairball in her stomach, blocking up her “guttyworks”.  They removed the hairball in a relatively short and simple surgery.  I say ‘relatively’ because the surgery was small potatoes next to the obvious psychiatric work yet required.

Photo from Photobucket user ray29

5.  Peter Griffin – Nickels

Who wouldn’t like to see their name in the Guiness Book of World Records?  When Peter Griffin decided the best way that he could get into the book would be to swallow more nickels than anyone else, he went blind.  But not before walking a mile in the shoes of a Vegas slot machine:

1 Comment

  1. HEY, Don’t Eat That!: 5 (MORE) of the Dumbest Things People Have Intentionally Eaten | Take a Long Ride on the Short Bus said,

    […] Artichoke Leaves […]

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